you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
