White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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