I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
