if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
