so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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