I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
