That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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