so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
COCAINE IS GR8
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
