Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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