dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
