the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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