oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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