I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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