what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
