just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
