hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
