plz talk dirty to me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
