We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
