It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
