Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
