She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
