Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
