Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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