Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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