there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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