How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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