Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sober January is a disaster.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
