Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
