shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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