I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
