Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
