She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
