1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
