i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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