I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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