It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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