It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
