You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
