Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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