Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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