I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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