So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
