i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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