the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
