No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
