it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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