Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
