I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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