Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
