so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
